Another Sunday

A little tired today after Halloween weekend and some late nights. There has been an Indie Band residency here at the Banff Centre for the past couple of weeks. So there have been some new faces and new noises around. The visual arts residency also ended this weekend, so there has been lots of parties going on. Personally I´ve really done some technical piano work this week. I´ve been playing Dohnanyi studies for hours and hours. And this seems to be really working! Things are opening up more and more and my muscles, especially in my left hand are in the process of understanding how I want them to work. I´ve also picked up singing this week! For those of you who know me from Trondheim, you know I´ve been a closet-singer for a while now. When you work so much with singers as I have for the past years, you pick up a lot of things related to technique. I remember accompanying my first big masterclass at Olavsfestdagene in 2006 with Susanna Eken. After 7 days or something with singing and technique I thought to myself: Damn, how difficult can it be! So I started trying on my own.

I´ve also realized that practicing meditation can have a tremendous impact on singing (and everything else as I`ve probably said a few times now). Physically speaking, meditation adds a lot of awareness to you. So you get aware of your body and the inside of the body. So what I realized this week was that my singing technique and voice has developed simply by internalizing technique from this years Eken masterclass (without actually trying it)+ practicing a combined physical and mental meditation technique. Suddenly I have access to chambers inside my system I haven´t had access to before. My inner space has simply expanded. So that´s pretty cool. I´ve also started a work-out routine in my studio. So things are coming along here.

I´ll actually go to LA for a few days on Wednesday! I´m attending 3 meditation programs at the Vedic temple in Montclair with the Indian spiritual teacher Paramahamsa Nithyananda. This is the same guy I saw in Phoenix in March. I think that will be amazing. I feel that expansion is happening pretty fast here in Banff, it´s a good place for it. So to do 3 intense programs over 4 days could potentially be a big energy boost.

I´ve also started working on US tours for 2010. I´ve sent hundred of proposals to the Mid-West and East-Coast and I´ve already got a few tentative bookings. So now it´s all about raising enough money to record a new CD here at the Banff Centre + getting established in Palm Springs somehow in April. And the dream of India summer of 2010 is still very much alive! I´m actually pretty sure that the April-May and early June tour will pay for that. The program in India is announced to start on June 20th, so the timing is perfect.

Monday in Banff

This is supposed to be a Sunday blog.. hehe.. well well. You know, it´s kinda hard to keep track of the days up here. Sunday, Monday, Friday.. doesn´t really make much of a difference. But that´s just a lame excuse for forgetting to write my blog. I guess I could say that there´s really not that much to say. I get up, meditate, practice, eat, practice, eat, practice, meditate.. or something like that. But today I went swimming! Oh yes. That was hard. Banff is pretty high up from what I´m used to so I was pretty much out of breath after 5 minutes. And when I swim, I swim pretty fast.. not because I´m necessarily so good at it, but that´s just the natural way to swim for me. So I swim across, then back again, and then I take a break to catch my breath. haha. Hopefully my stamina will improve pretty fast... But actually, I heard that the best way to exercise is short and hard. But I´m impressed though by some people, mostly women, mostly my moms age, that can stay in the pool for over an hour swimming without getting their hair wet! That´s just amazing to me.. I´m surprised they don´t sink. It must be like threading the water in a certain angel that produces a certain forward thrust. Vertical swimming.. Anyway..

I think I´ve figured out the next recital program now, "From Grieg to Gershwin." It will be Grieg op 6, the Humoresques, the Nocturne and a couple of pieces from op 71 lyric pieces ending with Summer Evenings (no 2). Then Ravel, Sonatine before the intermission. After intermission: Rachmaninov, 6 Moment Musicals and a selection of Gerswhin/Wild piano transcriptions of famous songs. It should be a fun and pretty likable program I think. I´m lining up some concerts in April and May in the US now, so I´m hoping for a long-term visa + a place to stay in Palm Springs! It would be nice to have a base in the US so I don´t have to go across the atlantic or living in a suitcase all the time.

I think that´s it for this time! I´m really enjoying Banff of course. You know, people always say that this is like escaping "reality." But I´d say that "reality" is wrong. We should bring "reality" to Banff instead. This is an international, creative environment where everybody is doing what they like doing. I think more people should be "filtered" through Banff and bring this life out to the so-called real world. Reality is psychological, and it´s fully possible to live in "heaven" anywhere on the planet.

First week

The first week is over in Banff and things are starting to settle down. It seems like fall lasts about a week or so here... They had high summer temperatures a week before I arrived, but now it really feels like winter. The first snow has fallen in the mountains, and it looks really beautiful. But I have to agree with one of my piano colleges here at the Banff Centre: there are too many trees here... The tree-line is high compared to Norway, so even if the altitude is pretty high, trees cover the valley and the lower mountains. But there are plenty of really rocky mountains if you raise your eyes a few degrees. Being a Banff resident is all about trying to get something done between meals. They have buffet 3 times a day in a panoramic restaurant - and we can swipe our artist cards and dig in. And they´ve placed the dessert selection first.. so this is the first thing you see as you go in. White/milk/dark/combo chocolate mousse, apfelstrudel, strawberry cheesecake and it goes on and on. My plan was to actually loose some weight while I was here. Well.. we´ll see about that.

I have a beautiful practice studio here. It´s quite spacious. When I was practicing the first day to try out the piano, which was a Boesendorfer, the head of the music program Barry Shiffman locked himself into my room. He then asked if everything was ok, and I said yes. Then he said.. oh no, you have the Boesendorfer piano, I hate that piano. It´s not good enough. Then he got hold of 4-5 movers to CARRY a C7 Yamaha from a different room into my studio. And it is much better.. but still. Well, we feel like we´re really taken care of to put it that way. Thanks Barry!! We had visitors this weekend, The Lawrence String Quartet and the composer John Adams. They did a concert on Saturday presenting Haydn, Ravel and Adams string quartet. The Adams piece was a Canada premiere and they´re recording it on CD at this very moment right down the hall here. The Lawrence Quartet was really spectacular. Quite an experience! Then we met John Adams in a conversation yesterday afternoon. He´s probably The most recognized contemporary composer in the US nowadays. The Banff Centre in general is a very vibrant and updated place. Creativity seems to be the first priority, and there´s a big emphasis on contemporary music.

I´m doing my first public appearance here on Friday. I´ll present a 20 minute excerpt of the Nordic Elegance program for the "Friday night concert out" series in Rolston Hall. Besides this I´m starting to get to know people. The atmosphere here is very open and supportive it seems and people are very passionate and aware of what they´re doing. I think art is a way of liberating people. Many artists seem to have a "global consciousness" without strong geographical or national attachments. Especially when they meet in Banff... People come from all over the world. And many of them have moved several times in their lives already. The bad thing about a strong relationship to language or a nation is that it creates boundaries. Actually, all attachments create boundaries. This is a very spiritual concept. So.. is it really that important to guard purity of language or national heritage? I´m just asking... Things evolve whether we want it or not, it´s the Law of Nature. Nothing is exactly the same for even a fraction of a second. The past is an illusion, it´s psychological. This is the dilemma of culture. Is it important to guard the heritage of lutefisk for instance? It´s an old way of preserving fish by drying it and then trying to bring it back to life by adding chemicals. Same thing with language. Language is all about communicating. But we make it into an important cultural factor. We identify with it and let it become part of our identity. This is actually the beauty of coming to an English speaking country for a long time without having English as a first language. This is also the beauty of traveling around for a while observing other people in various cultures within the US. It´s a big liberation because the identity I carry after having spent all my life in Trondheim area of Norway speaking a certain Norwegian dialect is much easier to drop. And identities like this are something we pick up from the culture we live in. They are not the real You. They are societal. Like masks or roles we play. I don´t agree that the identity of a person comes from all the engrams we pick up as we walk our path on planet earth - the morality, way of behaviour, fashion, language, name, memories from past, school, parents etc etc etc. (there are even deeper layers to this.) And I don´t accept that "that´s just the way it is." These are just external conditionings that have become part of our mental setup. Our true nature is beyond this. So breaking up from your "identity," detaching from all cultural factors and all that is NOT about losing touch with reality and following the ego. It´s the exact other way around. It´s about detaching from the ego and realizing what reality really is!

US tour and Banff

Hi! I´m writing this blog from lovely Banff in Alberta, Canada. This is one of the most scenic spots in Canada and it´s quite a tourist attraction in the middle of the Rocky Mountains. I´m going to stay here for 2X3 months doing a long-term creative artist residency at the Banff Centre. I did a 4-week short term residency in February 2008, but this will be the real thing! Now I have a unique chance to update my technique, learn a lot of music and really do all the things that I´ve been thinking of doing but never got the chance to do. So there will be 5 months (2,5 + 2,5 actually) of intense and compressed work. But recreation is never a problem in these environments.. pool, jacuzzi, bar, panoramic restaurant, hotel room and of course wonderful scenery with plenty of hiking trails and skiing. So recovery and relaxation is also compressed here! 

I flew in from Seattle this morning after the Nordic Elegance tour part 2 to the north western USofA. I was on the road for 4 weeks doing 14 concerts. It was a lot of fun, great variety of audience (both in age and size), many different pianos to adapt to, quite a lot of driving and so forth. It´s a challenge to keep the energy and inspiration up when you do a concert program that many times. But it went well and it was a success everywhere. But my mind is very focused on Banff now and I really think this will be a wonderful period. I´ve done the Nordic Elegance program over 30 times this year and in between tours I finished my masters in Trondheim playing Scriabin + Grieg concerto in Moldova. I also "swallowed" a huge amount of music this summer accompanying singers. So now I feel very ready to start a new progressive circle of ideas, development and action. I´ll work on new pieces related to technical work now, early Beethoven, Scarlatti, Rachmaninov and some crazy difficult etudes. Then I´ll prepare new program(s) after Christmas! I think one of them will be called "From Grieg to Gershwin." I won´t go into details yet, but I think it has great potential. I´ll also pick up a whole lot of pieces I´ve played over the years and re-study them with updated technique and artistic insight. I´ll also do some physical and spiritual experiments concerning for instance yoga, meditation, exercise and diet. And this is a perfect place to do such things. Now I can have routines for the first time in a LONG time for instance. We also live in a "bubble" here where you don´t have to worry about anything from the so-called real world. So all these things are much easier to accomplish because you don´t have to adapt to anything at all. 

I´ll tell you more next Sunday! Because this blog will be updated every Sunday from now on. I have no idea what I´ll write, because I just start to write and I don´t know where I´ll end up... See ya!

USA tour

Hey!

How you doin´? I´m back in the USA now! The Nordic Elegance tour part2 is rockin´ and rollin´ again. I´ve done 2 concerts so far, one in Lynnwood and one in Bellingham, Washington. Right now I´m in Anacortes, a very charming little coastal town up in the north-western corner of the United States. I had the day off today, so I went for a 85 minutes ferry sight-seeing to Friday Harbor. That´s another charming little town located on the San Juan Island. It was sure nice to get some good breaths of fresh air, some sunshine and Norwegian summer temperatures. Very relaxing and nice day. 

Just to give you a brief summary of my travel so far... I came from Norway 10 days ago and landed in Phoenix, AZ where I visited my good friends from the Sons of Norway lodge in Scottsdale and had a meeting at the Steinway Store about a possible future performance. After that I went to Palm Springs (from hot to hot in other words...) and met with some other people that could be interested in a performance. But my main purpose for the trip to California was to visit professor Kevin Fitz-Gerald at the University of Southern California. I had 3 private lessons with him. It´s really nice to get some advise about how to work and develop. And as you might also know, I´ll be spending in total 6 months as a long term artist resident at the Banff Centre in Banff, AB, Canada. I´ll work hard there to try to really unleash my full potential as a human being and pianist. (First human, then musician. Quote: Edvard Grieg.) Then I´ll hopefully go to India for 3 months to get rid of any remaining ego and become God. Me? Ambitious? Hehe. 

Anyway, the tour has 12 remaining concerts, but I´ll have a 1 week break after tomorrows concert in Stanwood. The reason is Labor Day weekend. I´ll go to a retreat place at the Whidbey Island to have my vacation at the lovely Earth Sanctuary. I´ve been working pretty much constantly all year, so 7 days totally off will be just fine. I´m also realizing that my Nordic Elegance program is pretty hard. It takes a lot of physical and mental energy. That´s a challenge, but a very healthy challenge. What concerns me a bit is that the attendance is generally lower than it was in 2007. This is not because of bad advertisement. I think it´s because of the economy and the financial crisis. It´s not that people can´t afford to go to a concert, it´s just that they THINK they can´t afford to go to a concert. I think that people are reluctant to go out and do things. It´s the same story all over the place according to the people I talk to. It´s a real pity, and a bit disturbing for a freelance musician. Right now I rely on attendance to get my income. If this goes on I would have to do things differently... So I suggest you get your butt out of that chair and come to the concert. I´ll give you a good experience and interesting information about Norwegian music, and you´ll give me money so I can go to India. Sounds like a deal to me. Ok? Ok. 

Money is a real pain by the way. But I want it and I have to admit that. And the only reason why I want it is because I want to spend it. There´s so many things I want to do in life. That´s all! You can´t put a price tag on music, on experience.. but we´re left with no choice. Isn´t it funny? Most people agree that you can´t put a dollar mark on an experience, it could be music, arts, nature or anything else that has to do with love... life... meaning... sincerity... spirituality and so forth. But if there´s just a little disturbance in the stock market, this is the first thing we let go of. Isn´t it wierd? Do you see how f***** up it really is? Oohh, it feels good to be straight and potentially provocative :-) By the way, there´s a big difference between spirituality and organized religion. Organized religion is dogmatized, externalized spirituality based on fear and greed and it´s pretty dangerous. I see organized religion as a misunderstanding of spiritual ideas. Combine it with organized politics and you´re really screwing up Nature´s plan. I watched a stand up show by the late Bill Hicks the other day. He was a very straight, angry and obnoxious guy with the most noble and subtle ideas and intentions you can imagine. He said something about his political point of view (this was in the early 90s): ".. it´s not that I disagree with Bush´s economic policy or foreign policy. It´s just that I believe he´s the child of Satan here to destroy the planet Earth." Humand mind/Ego=fear and greed. Society=manifestation of the collective Mind/Ego=fear and greed. 

I think I´ll end this blog with another quote from Bill Hicks. A rather brilliant one. 

"Life is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go it you think it´s real because that´s how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round, it has thrills and chills and it´s very brightly colored and it´s loud. And it´s fun... for a while. Some people has been on this ride for a long time, and they begin to question: is this real? Or is it just a ride? And other people have remembered and they come back to us and say: hey, don´t worry, don´t be afraid, ever, because... it´s just a ride. And we......... kill those people...."shut him up.. we have a lot invested in this ride.. SHUT HIM UP. Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account. And my family. This just HAS to be real." It´s just a ride.. But we always kill those people who try to tell us that. Do you ever notice that?.. And let the demons run amok. But it doesn´t matter because... it´s just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It´s only a choice, no effort, no worry, no work, no savings of money, just a choice right now between fear and love. The eyes of fear wants you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns and close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as One. Here´s what we can do to change the world right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defense each year, and instead spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over - not one single being excluded. And we can explore space together, both inner and outer. Forever. In peace."

Working working

Hi again. I hope you´re not too disappointed that I´m not updating the blog every Sunday. I intend to do so when the summer is over and I move to Banff. Because I got the confirmation now. I WILL go to Banff in Canada for 6 months and surround it with tours in the US. It´s certainly nice to know that for a fact now. In the meantime I´m working like crazy to earn some money. I´ve spend July playing a couple of gigs with the gypsy music orchestra Trio Troika. I also did a spanish concert with two sopranos at the Norwegian Opera (the new magnificent building you know..) and for the past days I´ve been working with the opera the Magic Flute in Stjørdal. I´m in the busiest period now with the singing master class right around the corner. There are 16 singers, and I have to be prepared to play with all of them. What a pile of music... And I´m going to play 10am-0615pm every day. But I kinda look forward to it. I think it will be nice. 

The good thing about doing so many things during a summer is that you are forced not to worry. What I mean is that the only thing you can do is let go when the project is finished and proceed to the next one. And then you have a pile of music in front of you. And you know that you HAVE to know this by a certain time (just a few days ahead maybe). The quickest and best way of doing that is just doing it without worrying about it. If you only have 1 big concert for a period of time, you start building up expectations, nerves, and potential problems for yourself. Trying too hard is actually a hindrance! And the concept of trying is an action of the mind/ego in itself. But if you´re in the Zone, meaning being in tune with your true Self (meditative state) the effort will be less, the comfort will be higher and the result will be better. You just trust, do it and let go afterwards. I keep saying that performing music is compressed spirituality. And I think that´s a truth in many levels. Because the same thing can be said about performing a piece. If you start thinking and judging during the performance, you´re doomed! Trusting, accepting and letting go is the way. If you think, you can´t be centered on your heart. And if you don´t play from your heart, there won´t be any art coming out of it. 

Another interesting thing about performers and the audience: you will attract what you project. Again, this is a universal truth applied to arts. For example, if you are a very intellectual musician playing with your head, you will attract people who are head-based intellectuals. If you play from your heart (by heart I mean Self/Soul/Zone...), you will touch something else in people. They will be attracted to the performance without knowing exactly why. Die-hard intellectuals will probably not understand what all the fuss is about and find things that should be different or bettered according to the score or tradition or something. I read a review from a concert the other day. It was a performance from a highly respected Norwegian pianist. It was a great great review. I´ve never been crazy about this artist to be honest because I think he´s too intellectual in his approach. But the guy who wrote the review was amazed by the performance. When I read it I noticed that one of the best compliments he gave was "amazing sound production in the middle register of the piano..." I expected something like "touched the souls and hearts etc etc." But no. Then it struck me: the guy who wrote the review must have been highly intellectual in his approach. So he was of course amazed about all the intellectual things the artist did with the instrument and music. 

Anyway.. Paramahamsa Nithyananda says that music will bring the listener to where it comes from. Which is the same thing as I tried to explain. So if the performer is deeply rooted in his Self, maybe even a spiritually enlightened being, the performances will rise people´s consciousness. This is why true art is much more important than people can imagine. Scriabin stated all his life that music (his music) could transform people and rise the consciousness towards Unity. In that case, music is directly related to spirituality and the essence of life on earth. By the way, the word Yoga means Unity. So I guess my quest then is to become enlightened myself. It would be the most important thing I would ever do for myself. And music would be my tool to channel it to whoever is listening. I think this is the true nature and purpose of music. The classical music from India is made on these premises. The old eastern philosophies are build around Enlightenment. To them, the only true meaning of life is to reach the ultimate state of consciousness, Enlightenment. And music is of course connected to this. 

Alright.. it´s time for me to sleep now! Enjoy the rest of your summer!

Concerts and vacation

Hi there! It seems like every other week is a good time for a new blog! I haven´t decided it or anything, it just happens. :)

Since last time you heard from me, I´ve done 2 major things. The first one was a great outdoor opera concert. I guess you know that Norway has a new opera house in a place called Bjørvika in Oslo. There is another place in Norway called Bjørvika. That´s a small place on the small island Ytterøy outside Levanger. 10 years ago when the Norwegian government decided to build the new opera house in Bjørvika, a couple of farmers on this island though: hmm, ok! This is the place: http://www.ytteroy.no/pages/bygdetun/program.html. It´s in Norwegian only... So for the past 10 years they´ve had an opera show on this lawn between the buildings. This year we had 600 in the audience! That´s about 100 above sell-out! But everyone is welcome if they bring their own chair. It´s really a special thing. Since I joined as a pianist 4 years ago, the weather has been great every time. That´s close to a miracle in this part of the world. 

Usually we´re 2 pianist for this event, but I was on my own this year. So I had my plate full. But it was a lot of fun. Immediately after my return from this island, I had to start preparing for the non-piano activities this summer. Because I´ll do 4 performances with Trio Troika. You can visit their website for more information. But it is a gypsy trio consisting of violin, double bass and accordion. Soo... I´m digging out my accordion to perform with them this summer. I almost never play the accordion any more. But this is a really fun thing to do! A lot of energy and passion in the gypsy music. There will be 3 festivals this summer, Frosta, Frøya and Vanylven + a gig here in Trondheim. The first one, Frosta, is coming up this Saturday. 

As you understand, this summer is pretty much packed. And that´s really my own choice. I wanted to work like crazy this summer to earn some money. My trip to Banff, which still isn´t 100% confirmed, will stop income for 6 months. And I also have a dream of going to India for 3 months next summer. But I did have 3-4 days off at the end of last week. The weather has been exceptionally good for a period now. So I decided to take some time off and relax. I´ve done some sunbathing, had a massage and some other spa-like treatment, listened to music, watching several episodes of the old comedy classic Cheers etc. But now I´m back in business and have plenty of things to learn within this week. Next week I´ll actually perform in the lobby in the new opera house in Oslo! They have a summer daytime concert series there. I will do an all Spanish program with to great sopranos from the national opera school located in Oslo. That will be a blast! More on that next time!

Summer!

Hi everybody! I´m writing this from Oslo, but I will go back to Trondheim again today. I´ve been her for over a week now to do various things. Last weekend I went to yet another meditation workshop. So I´ve had enough input for a while. I´ve also been practicing with some opera singers for some concerts in August. Singers and opera is really the key words for this summer. I have plenty of things to do now, and most of it is accompanying singers. I don´t think there will be a single moment of boredom this summer. There´s a big one coming up this Saturday on the island Ytterøya. This is an annual event with several great singers, mostly professional and good students. The location is very special because it´s outdoors on an old farm property. You have to take a ferry to get to the island, but the last years we´ve had 5-600 in the audience. Normally we have 2 pianists to cope with this, but I´m alone this year so my plate is full. 

I´ve done a couple of interesting things this weekend. First of all I did a solo recital in a private home here in Oslo on Friday. This guy has a nice Fazioli grand piano in his living room and invites his friends over 1-2 times a year for a concert and party. I was lucky enough to be the pianist this year, and I did a 45 minutes concert with Russian and Norwegian music. The surprising thing was that the Opera Director in Oslo, Paul Curran, attended the event. He´s known for his straghtforwardness and brutal honesty. So it was very nice to hear that he truly enjoyed the concert and the following party. He was a really cool guy to talk to. His main passion besides opera is piano music, and especially Scriabin! So we had some things to talk about. 

The other interesting thing I did this weekend is something TOTALLY different. You see, I´ve been very interested in health and diet in the past. It all goes along with my spiritual interest. And for the past years I´ve been following, more or less, a high-fat low-carb diet. I´ve been enjoying this even though it has been kinda hard to maintain. But since my spiritual interest and insight is developing, I wanted to look into what the spirituality says about food and dieting. I did have an idea of course and I knew that it was a vegetarian diet. But I wanted to really look into it and dig a little bit. And I found exactly what I was looking for. http://www.timelesshealth.net/ 

I was so relieved because here we have this health-geek that has done all the research for me. He has tried all the diets on the market, including the paleo-diet I´ve been into +++. He also have a high spiritual interest and has done spiritual research and backed it up with scientific facts. He made a diet program called diet of the masters. The word masters here refer to the spiritual masters like Buddah, Krishna, Jesus and also the Greek masters, athletes and the healthiest cultures of the world. These people didn´t care if the food they ate was called carbs, proteins or fat. But they sought the food with the most nutrition. Because even if you eat plenty of calories, the body will tell you to eat more if it lacks all the nutrition it needs (vitamins, minerals etc etc). It seems like the old masters ate 1-2 times a day, vegetarian and exactly the right products. You can check out the details yourself if you´re interested. But I´m going to start testing this now. So I prepared my body this weekend by fasting for 24 hours and doing a C24 body cleanse. Quite an experience... 

Ascension

Hello everybody! I would like to write something about ascension today. This weekend I went to Oslo to learn ascension. But what is it? It is a form of meditation. Ascension means to rise up or transcend. And what you´re actually doing is rising above your mind and entering the sphere of the infinite. I´ve been in touch with a variety of self development programs and spiritual systems. Some of them focuses on positive thinking, how to organize the thoughts and use them to your advantage, how do control the thoughts and so forth. Ascension goes straight to the point and learns us how to go beyond thoughts (and feelings and everything else related to the term "mind.") So instead of solving our mental problems and dissolving our bad mental patterns from the outside, ascension takes us straight to the core and dissolves the thought-patterns from the inside. 

I know this is weird stuff if you´re not familiar with spirituality. But all of spirituality (real spirituality) is about finding the Self which is beyond the mind (thoughts/feelings). Or to put it this way: it´s about keeping the focus and attention on the gap between the thoughts instead of the thoughts. And what do we find there? Silence. Is that silence nothingness? According to all spirituality it´s actually everything. If there wasn´t darkness, we wouldn´t have light. If there wasn´t silence, there wouldn´t be sound. Anyway, this is the ultimate meditative state - the goal of all meditation. This is the source of ultimate solutions, unconditional love, infinite energy, peace, total freedom, joy and bliss. Our natural state. This is a state without societal conditionings, limitations and ego. It´s the God within! Our wise inner master. 

Hmm.. I kinda feel sorry for you that you have to read all this, especially if you aren´t interested in spirituality. hehe. But I´m telling you: If you have any problems in your life, this will solve it. All the solutions, energy and love that we need and want in our life and society is exactly there - in the gap between your thoughts. NOT thinking sounds like an impossible task. And it is. But we can all learn how to stop identifying with thoughts. Because thoughts are mostly just bothering us - blaming us for things from the past, worrying about all kinds of hypothetical things in the future and so forth. Thoughts are for the most part just irrelevant associations. If you start observing your mind for a while, you will notice that. We think that we create a nice, streamlined, logical line of thoughts. But they really don´t have any connection. It´s just one thought associating with the previous one. It´s a machine that just runs on its own. It never stops - not even when we sleep! And the problem is that we think we are the thoughts!! We are controlled by our mind, we are addicted to it. It runs our lives, but it´s not really us! You can observe your thoughts, can´t you? If you try right now? Just watch the thoughts for a minute, count them, observe how they are connected. Now.. if you can observe your thoughts, how can they be you? If you are your thoughts, who is observing them? By being inside your thoughts at any time, you can never be in the present moment. You can never really live and express your full potential. Again observe it... a thought is either from the past or the future. 

If you´re still reading this blog at this stage, you probably realize that I´m quite inspired from this weekend of ascension. :-) I´ve been familiar with all these principals for a long time. But as I said, it´s close to impossible to force your mind not to think. Ascension, as far as I can tell after 1 day, is a remarkably simple way to go straight to the core and dissolve the surrounding thoughts. But the point is to stay in the core, not to remove the thoughts. And the thing is that everybody on planet earth have experienced this already. Because small babies are there all the time!! Just watch them. They are totally in the moment, living naturally, without worry, with total love and no limits. You´ve probably also lost yourself to a nice piece of music, having a moment of total silence in the beautiful nature or something like that. You´re also experiencing it all the time, every day. Because there will be a small gap between each thought. We just have to keep the focus on the gap, make the gap longer and longer and expanding from there. This is our natural state. So spirituality and the whole idea of mediation, no-mind etc, is nothing special, intellectual or anything like that. It´s simply about discovering who you really are - to regain your true state. 

Exam Concert

Alright, it´s about time to tell you about my exam concert. Last week was the big week! And what can I say? My head feels kinda empty now after having actually done it. Monday - Wednesday was really intense in one way, and quite relaxing in another way. It was a WONDERFUL experience to work with the conductor and orchestra for 3 days. I learned a lot from it and the result was quite good in the end I think. Being a soloist with an orchestra is a situation that is stressful in a way, but very nice too. I like it a lot. And when I get more experience of the situation I think I will really love it. The relaxing part was that I was actually able to NOT get stressed out in between. I didn´t practice too much or think too much about the performance between the rehersals. 

I was surprised to see quite a number of people attending the concert at 1pm on a Wednesday. There must have been 150-200 people there. The feeling I had afterwards was: "it was ok.. could have been worse, could have been better." So I guess I did the best I could then! The comments from my friends in the audience were very positive indeed. And the critic from "Adresseavisen," the biggest newspaper in Trondheim, was very very positive and gave a great review. I shared the concert with a flute player, and she got wonderful reviews as well. So it was a very special day for us. He used us as examples of the young and upcoming generation of musicians; well reflected about what we´re doing without being bound by tradition. He said that our performances could have been made on any stage and still be great. 

I must say I haven´t really had time to sit down and feel how it is like to be done with all the studies. I´ve been in Trondheim and somehow attached to the Music Conservatory since the autumn of 2000. So this is the end of an era for me. It is definitely time for me to look outside Trondheim. And it´s not that I haven´t started doing it with all my touring and everything! But I think I should break loose from the town for a period of time now. I can always return later. But for my own musical and personal growth, I think it´s important that I leave this area. I really feel like being based outside Norway for a few years. The US is of course a natural choice for me since I´ve done so many concerts there and started to get good contacts. So I will go for a 3-years O-visa from 2010 and see what happens. But the best thing would probably be to roam  around a little bit. But establishing a kind of base in the US for a period could be cool. 

Being a freelance performer is extremely interesting. The thing I´m thinking about now is "how much to control it and how much to just go with the flow?" In the bigger picture the answer is indeed "go with the flow." But for instance now, I´ve booked a 4 week tour in September, applied for a 6 months residency in Banff, Alberta and started booking another tour in April-May 2010. It is sort of a way of controlling things since I´ve "locked myself up" for a year! But then again, tours should be planned a year in advance and if I didn´t do it myself it wouldn´t be any tour at all. Anyway.. I´m sure it´s just a matter of getting used to it and getting tuned in. After all, the really good gigs are booked at least a year in advance. The big experienced concert musicians are fully booked 3-4 years ahead probably... I guess the only thing I should control is saying "yes" to gigs that I actually want and "no" to the ones that I don´t want. So it all comes down to doing what you enjoy doing the most. It also comes down to trust. I have to trust that things will work out, that I will get enough money, that I will have new ideas, that something will come to me from outside etc. I guess trust is the opposite of fear? The ultimate trust is probably that everything that happens is auspicious. No matter what will happen, it will be a great experience and a source of growth. Good and bad are just labels for our mind and society. It is what it is and it is auspicious. 

So to sum it up: it will be a very interesting period in my life! Ok, now my mind IS empty from all the candy, unhealthy food, beer and lack of meditation and physical exercise following the exam. :-) But I´ve already started to look forward and tomorrow I will be fully operational again. 

The week in between

It´s now 3 days left until I´m on stage playing the Scriabin piano concerto with the Trondheim Symphony Orchestra. So this week has been the week "in between." It´s quite special to do two big romantic piano concertos within 1,5 weeks. I spent Monday in Oslo having a lesson with Håvard Gimse. Pretty "hardcore" coming straight from Moldova and Grieg. But it was really nice to shift the focus instantly like that. And not surprisingly, I´ve spent the rest of the week practicing the concerto. 

But here´s the funny thing: I feel like this has been the calmest May ever. How can I say that having 2 major concertos? Well.. it´s just 2 things. 2 times 30 minutes - that´s not too bad? Earlier I´ve had tons of things to do! I think it´s all the smaller things that´s stressful for you. If you have plenty of "little" things, it´s harder for the mind to cope with. Now I have 2 things. And it´s not possible to practice hours and hours either, because it´s so physical. And if you practice alot when your body and mind is tired, you might as well create more problems for you than you actually solve. So I think it´s better to take care of body and mind, relax, be in the present moment and enjoy everything that´s happening. If you think too much about the exam, you will be stressed out, and it´s absolutely useless. So you get more energy, and you can practice as much as you have to, in an effective way, and stop. This is probably also a reason why everything has felt calmer and more joyful this spring - simply a development of consciousness. Or maybe I freak out tomorrow after the first rehearsal with the orchestra and regret having said all this. Haha. 

I met the conductor today! A very nice and funny Lithuanian guy called Vytautas Lukocius. We went through the concerto and talked about some things. So I´m pretty sure that the rehearsal tomorrow won´t be THAT frightening. He was definitely not frightening and we had dinner afterwards. I actually look forward to it because it will be nice hearing the lovely music as it should be, not just with the solo piano part. It´s also nice to play WITH someone and having another person being in charge of the tempo for instance. It´s like the responsibility is less compared to doing a solo recital where everything is solely on your shoulders. Vytautas actually gave me credit for learning this particular concerto, because it´s really difficult compared to the effect. Meaning, you have to spend a lot of time practicing music that´s really difficult, but doesn´t necessarily sound impressive. Sometimes you play a heck of a lot of notes that you really don´t even hear because the orchestra is pretty much covering you. 

The british pianist Stephen Hough actually made a point out of this with the Rachmaninov 2. concerto. He says it´s perfect for a nervous pianist (like Rachmaninov himself) because the piece starts with some simple chords, kinda to try the instrument. Then you play all these fast broken chords that the audience won´t really hear because the orchestra has the main theme in fortissimo. So you could play nervous mistakes and it won´t matter anyway. And then you have this slow lyrical melody after this which is so beautiful that the audience will adore it. And Rach 3, the legendary and huge concerto, starts with a melody which is so simple that anyone could play it. Intelligent composing :-) The Rachmaninov concertos also has a lot of wonderful candenzas and other passages which are effective - it has an effect on the audience. They also end with some great virtuoso climax so that the audience will jump off their seats and shout "bravoooo." So it´s of course more tempting to spend alot of time preparing a concerto like that. Scriabin requires a lot of work and effort, but it´s not frequently performed. But I´m glad I did it! And it will be a great week I think. 

Moldova

2 days late this time, so sorry about that. I got back from Moldova late Sunday evening and was very busy on Monday. But here it is. 

I´ve had a wonderful week in Moldova performing the Grieg A-minor concerto with the National Philharmonic Orchestra on the 15th. The national day of Norway was on May 17th, so that was very convenient. Very interesting idea that a country like Moldova chooses to have a Norwegian day doing a full Grieg concert! Grieg is a very popular composer in Moldova too! I arrived Tuesday evening and was showed around a little bit. The town Chisinau is quite beautiful because it´s so green! Moldova was under Sovjet until it fell in 1991 and they got independent after this. They´ve been struggling with the economy ever since. But they have very nice wine, wonderful food, nice people and quite a lot of culture. The Eastern European culture is very strong and it has always been the case it seems. There are so many wonderful musicians coming from Russia and other Eastern countries. And I have very great respect for them, especially the pianists of course being a pianist myself. They have this wonderful ability to combine tremendous technique with amazing soul and musicianship. It´s like they understand that music isn´t just mere entertainment, it really means something! 

And this is of course reflected in the fact that people show up for the concerts! This concert was sponsored by the Norwegian Embassy in Romania. And as I know that many people are reading this blog, I would like to give my warmest gratitudes to the organizers, both from the Embassy and the Moldovan side! It was a very special day for me and it was such a pleasure meeting all of you and getting to know you a little bit. This also goes for the Scandinavian guests that attended! Thank you for the sight seeing, the food, the Eurovision Song Contest Party (!!) and openness. And of course thank you for inviting me to the 17th of May celebration. And last but not least thank you to all the people who attended the concert! This concert was free of charge, and "everybody" came. By everybody I mean that people brought their entire families and showed up to enjoy some nice music. The house was full (5-600 people I think?). It certainly warms my heart to see that so many people will come because of sheer interest of nice music. Classical music in the west is by many people regarded as a "high culture" thing. Like it´s something that gives status, something refined that people from the higher parts of society can identify with. For others it´s an intellectual thing. Music can be intellectual too, but if don´t let go and let it flow into our inner software, you miss the whole point I think. I´m not trying to generalize here, but I know that many people in the west a reluctant to go to such concerts because they don´t think they are smart enough, fine enough or good enough for it. Like it will go right above their heads.. This is why I thought it was so nice to see all these people on the concert in Moldova. They applauded between the movements, some cell phones rang, some people came late, some people left in the middle.. they broke the "rules.." But in a way that was nice. As long as it´s honest and comes from the heart. Classical music should never be "dangerous." Come and enjoy.

For me personally it was a wonderful experience to do this concert. I think the end result was pretty satisfying. Of course not perfect. But that doesn´t matter. I´m not striving for perfection anyway, as long as I felt that I gave something from myself, that there was some passion, fire, something genuine about it. I have this idea in my system how it feels to be an experienced concert pianist. First of all I can say that it must be a very demanding thing to do in life. I think to be a concert pianist like I´m picturing it, you must have a tremendous technique, energy and openness. I faced some external challenges that I´m sure all concert pianists have experienced at least once in their life. For instance, the touch of the piano was very hard and heavy. This means that you have to work and be active on every single note. Playing in a hall were the acoustics are bone dry is NOT helping. In addition to that you have to face your own body and mind´s reaction to the stressful situation. AND it sometimes gets hot as hell on stage - which it was. And you have to deal with all this at once and do a performance as good as possible. It´s like compressed spirituality! You have to accept it, be in the moment, flow along with it and expand and express. Perfection for me is being able to do those things! It´s not about playing the right notes, it´s about having the inner security, energy, intensity and tremendous power and confidence to face all these things flawlessly. I´m not there yet, but I didn´t expect that either. But I´m grateful for the challenges I faced, because that only gives more experience to it. And experienced is highly needed. I´m more and more happy about choosing to dedicate the 6 months at the Banff Centre in Canada from September. It will give me much more technical power and stability + much more. If I can also give some sincere dedication to the deep development of my hardware and software (body and mind), everyday, in Banff and hopefully intensely through a Yoga and Meditation retreat in India, it would also strongly contribute career wise. (Although that is about developing in all parts of life.) 

There´s probably alot more I could say about Moldova, but I´ll leave it there for now. I´m only a week away from the next big concert now. That will be Scriabin Piano Concerto with the Trondheim Symphony Orchestra next Wednesday. It´s my final Master Exam concert And that´s a very special thing because it means that my time at the conservatory in Trondheim is definitely over. It´s a symbolical (and also practical) transition. I no longer have any formal ties to Trondheim and everything is open. More on that next time I guess! :-)

Sundayblog on Monday

Hi everybody! Sorry about the delay! This blog is one day too late unfortunately. The reason is that I´m on my way to Moldova and I spent last night in Oslo. I wasn´t able to log on to internet for some strange reason. But after touching some wires, unplugging, replugging, restarting, it suddenly started working. So.. here I am. 

As I said, I´m on my way to Moldova! I´m going to perform the Grieg A-minor concerto with the Moldova National Philharmonic Orchestra in Chisinau. And that´s a really cool thing. I think I could say that it is the biggest adventure of my life so far. Maybe that sounds strange since I´ve played like 50 concerts in the USA and Canada. But that was, and still is ofcourse, my own project. I planned it, booked it and organized it myself (more or less.) So that´s indeed adventurous. Some people have actually compared it to some of the good old Norwegia adventurers of the past. You get a crazy idea of doing something wild on your own, and you go through with it. But the thing with Moldova is that I didn´t move a finger to achieve it. I simply got an e-mail from a lady in Moldova called Irina almost a year ago. She invited me to perform the Grieg concerto with their orchestra the 15th of May 2009. I actually thought it was spam! So I almost deleted it. But after reading the entire e-mail (twice), I realized that this was the real thing. So it´s so special for me because it was an invitation from a European orchestra to be their guest soloist. And it´s the first time! 

I don´t know much about Moldova though. I know it´s a financially poor country. They´ve also been part of Romania and Russia. I also know they had some sort of a riot there during the election this winter because the communists won the election. I think.. Don´t quote me on anything here.. I don´t really pay attention to the news. But what I recently discovered is that they are a major wine producer! They have really nice food and great wine. And I also assume that it´s quite cheap! This is the beauty of being a Norwegian tourist - in any country really. But especially in Eastern Europe: you feel rich! You can eat on restaurants and have dessert and wine everyday if you want to. And I think we want to. I mean.. if you buy a cocktail in Oslo you could easily pay as much as $15 - which is absolutely ridiculous.. In Moldova i think you can have dinner with wine and dessert for around $10 all in all. Again, don´t quote me on this... But you get the picture. 

I really look forward to it. I´m having fun practicing the Grieg Concerto now, and I think it will be more fun than frightening to be on stage performing it. According to my impression from YouTube, the Moldova Philharmonic Orchestra is a pretty darn good one too. You know, the eastern musicians are really good! They are very disciplined, technically great and with a lot on their hearts. Just listen to the Russian pianists for instance. When they play, it´s like the heaviness of the Russian history is compressed in what they do. Rachmaninov is a great example. Music is not just something humans invented for fun - or out of boredom or need of entertainment. Music is telling something, expressing something that you can´t do with words. It connects people to their emotions, to nature, to anything that can be called divine, to history, to human psychodrama... etc. In holistic societies like for ex India, music is a part of the entire system that is created to help humans to Enlightenment. Nature and even Cosmos create music on their own. Music is vibration, and everything else is vibration also. So I´m thinking that music is bigger than us.. 

But in our western culture which is based on logic rather than intuition and holism, it´s very difficult to understand this. For a strictly intellectual mind, it´s hard to see music as something of significance to our society or the human race per se. Even many (most) musicians of today don´t connect to the deeper, spiritual meanings of music. We create competition out of this too and reach for perfection. Even classical music sometimes becomes a vehicle for our intellect and logic, or let´s say it´s a reflection of everything else. But I think we´ve reached the summit now. There are so many pianists that are able to play anything with tremendous technical perfection. And their expression is limited to: make a fish-face here, grin here, make a big gesture here, move your body in a slightly irregular, circular movement here.. and voila! you have expression - at least expression enough to score high in competitions. But the general public will see through it.. not with their mind, but with their intuition. I think we will soon yawn over great technical achievements. We´ve heard it before... And even if they get acknowledgement for a period, I don´t think they will be remembered in the future. Because I believe that true art goes beyond intellect.. REALLY true art also goes beyond our emotions I think.. it gets part of spirituality. 

Anyway.. Next Sunday I will be back in Oslo after Moldova! I´ll tell you everything about it! 

Society and such things

When I wrote the last blog, I had been meditating a lot and felt I had a good overview of Society, the illusions and all that. This week has been somewhat of a contrast! For instance today I´ve spent the entire day - really! like 9 hours - writing e-mails to possible sponsors of my next USA tour, application for financial support, budget, itineraries, I´ve been searching for flights, rental cars AND I´ve done all the tax papers by going through everything that has happened on my account in 2008. I like to do administrative work on Sundays, but this was almost an overkill. Earlier this weekend we´ve celebrated 1st of May by having lunch with elderly aunts, uncles, friends of the family, parents and sister + husband. 

So to put it this way: if my mind was wandering to some kind of atmospheric sphere of bliss last Sunday, I´m firmly back on the ground this week. And interestingly enough, that´s an exact demonstration of the dilemma I was mentioning last week. Because this is society... It´s work that HAS to be done just by the fact that we choose to live in this society. Money and formalities exist, so we have to deal with it. But when you meditate intensely and experience a state where you´re happy and blissful for no reason - just by existing, just by BEING - you realize that your life would be perfectly fulfilling just by sitting in a park watching the clouds. So this becomes somewhat of a dilemma. So on one side, you realize that the only right thing to do is to say "no" to society. Because if you attach yourself to it, and let yourself be controlled by it, then you´re responsible for it too. Because you are society. So if you are on a spiritual path, you will reach a place down the road where you feel you have to let go of society. It can be difficult and painful, because you see how wicked it can be and how much stupid drama people create in their lives. And.. we have made ourselves dependent on it, we identify with it and attach ourselves to it. It´s almost as we feel we´re losing track of reality by doing it. But as I said - how can something created by people´s minds and egos be called reality? If you start thinking in a deeper level...

As I claimed last week: society is the collective projection of the human mind. The Indian Master Nithyananda was once asked by someone in the audience: "How do I solve a troubled mind?" And Nithyananda, who is a very funny man actually, answered: "Why do you use 2 words for the same thing? Mind is trouble by nature. You can´t solve mind with mind." By mind, I guess he means the human psychology and thought processes. Now.. if society is mind, society will be contradicted, fragmented and troubled by its very nature. It´s a psychodrama! This leads to some very interesting conclusions, for instance that politics can never create peace. And if your mind is society, then the only thing that can be done if you really want peace to happen in the world (in your society), is to clear your own mind and let love, peace and bliss enter your being. If enough people do that and radiate it to the world, which they would do automatically, peace would be achieved. So, total peace can only be achieved by creating peace in each and every individual on the planet! By penetrating the mind and going beyond it, the trouble will be replaced by peace. So the problems in society can´t be solved by fighting with it and creating war (physical or psychological). It has to be penetrated from the inside and replaced by love. And it can only start with you! Politics is just a way of controlling the outer things - society - mind - ego - trouble. But we have to go IN! I think this is extremely fascinating!! 

So I guess the dilemma is solved by living in society and do all the things needed. But without attaching to it, not being psychologically controlled by it, not taking it too seriously, not involving any ego into it. Then you will always carry the joy and bliss from the meditative state of the NOW and doing all the societal things, but merely as a game or seeing it as a show of the human psychodrama. Because you would know that if everything crashes - you loose all your money, things, job etc - you can still sit in the park watching the clouds roll by in perfect fulfillment. 

Spring is here!

Hello again everybody. We´ve had a beautiful weekend in Trondheim with nice temperatures and shining sun. A touch of summer. We had around 60 degrees F. I guess you people from Palm Springs and Phoenix are laughing at us now. That´s a cold winter day for you guys.. Hehe. I´m thinking about spending a few days in Palm Springs in late August this year, before my tour. Just to get things in perspective temperature wise. Hopefully I´ll survive. 

There´s really nothing much to tell about my doings this week. I have been practicing Scriabin and Grieg, and feel that I have good control of it. Parts of the Scriabin concerto is almost ridiculously complex. Thank god he didn´t write the concerto a few years later, when he really started to go crazy... The reason why it´s almost ridiculous at times, is that the some of the difficulties can´t really be heard by the audience! So no-one will notice anyway. Haha. I´ve been listening to recordings by great artists, and most of them know the noble art of cheating. 

Besides this I have practiced my meditation, done my exercises to loosen up my muscles to allow the energy to flow, better my posture and making it easier to sit for hours at the piano. I´m also actually working out now.. can you believe it.. This actually creates some interesting dilemmas. Because.. (here we go with the deeper stuff again) When you´re developing yourself, it´s kind of like climbing steps. And when you enter a new step or level, naturally you have to leave another one. And then you also leave some habits, routines, bad things.. Because what you´re actually doing is increasing your awareness and rising in consciousness. And this is great. But the thing is that it´s not always that easy to do that. Because you´re actually changing reality for yourself. You start identifying with different things. And then you have to let go of other things! Because you have to let go of something old to allow something new to happen. It´s a wonderful truth. I´ve been very conscious about this truth at times, and it has helped me a lot on my path. This requires a bit of courage, because by letting go of something, we almost feel that we loose a part of our identity! This includes negative things too! Actually, I think that people that have been depressed for a long time, identify themselves with being depressed. They are almost afraid of not being depressed, because this has become part of their identity.

I think the core reason is that we resist change. We want things to be stable and solid. But nothing in this world, related to life on planet earth, in the phenomenal plane of Existence, in the matter, or in Reality as most people like to call it, is stable and solid. Everything is constantly changing. It´s the very nature. The structure of atoms is different from one millisecond to another. We try to grab on to the NOW. But it´s a battle that can´t be won. It will only lead to frustration, depression and war. This happens in the individuals whether we like it or not, and the collective part of it is what we call Society. Now.. this is someting I could write a lot about, but this blog is already getting quite long. I´m somewhere on my path where I have trouble relating to this society. The society I know is formed by need for power, market power, marketing, attention-need, and everything else related to EGO. Now, here comes the thing: Society is you! And me. Us. Society is the projection of the human mind. Isn´t it so? We´re creating society every day. Society is the sum of the human minds that live in it. So society is just a projection of our thoughts and egos... and maybe a tiny portion of love. But I seriously claim that most people don´t really know what love really is. And this is what people like to call Reality. Then they start attaching and relating and engaging themselves in it and make it serious. Society is NOT reality. It´s just a human construction which isn´t even conscious. And if you see through all this, see the mechanisms, the drama, all "serious" issues that really don´t mean a thing in the whole picture, what should you do? 

I have a lot of things to say about this. But I´ll leave this open for now and continue next Sunday! Have a nice week!

2. blog

Welcome to the second Sunday blog! I know that the link has been distributed to a number of people both in the USA and people related to my friend in Lanzarote, Ola´s blog. First of all I´d like to apologize in advance for all the grammatical errors you will find in these blogs. I don´t really proof read that much since I try to write spontaneously. It´s been an interesting week. I feel that I´m in a very exciting period of my life now. Things are happening more on an experiential level. I´ve been in a relationship for a short time. Pretty intense.. I learned a lot and are still learning a lot from that. I will probably write more about that later. But it´s kinda fresh, so I need to get it more on a distance so I can see it more clearly myself. 

I´ve also started the process of detaching more from my thoughts and living in the present moment. You see, when you think, you´re either in past or future! The present moment can only be experienced through sensing or just BEING. Thoughts are actually for the most part pretty irrational. And it´s mostly things from the past that´s recycled over and over again. It causes unnecessary and irrational worry and suffering. I think I´m more of a dreamer, so my mind tends to wander into the future. It´s kinda hard to let go, I must admit that. It´s like loosing your personality. Or you get the feeling that you´re unable to make good plans or have ambitions or remembering the past. It´s like a need of control! But judging from the past 2-3 weeks of high awareness, the power of the now is pretty immense! It seems like it generates a tremendous amount of energy and happiness. You´re happy for no apparent reason. Because we take all the small things in life for granted! When you live with high awareness in the present moment, you start feeling joyful and grateful for EVERYTHING. Food tastes better, taking a shower is like making love or something, just the act of walking is a nice thing. I´ve eaten less, slept less and had more energy. Sounds magical. 

Hmm, before this escalates.. I remember someone said after the first blog last Sunday: "don´t get to philosophical now!!" HAHA. Hmm, I wonder if I can NOT be just that. I mean, I could tell you that it´s raining heavily outside now and that it´s pretty darn cold in Trondheim at the moment. What can I say which isn´t something with deeper meaning. I mean, that´s what I´m into at the moment. I could tell you that I´m practicing a lot now a days. I´m preparing Grieg´s Piano Concerto and Scriabins Piano Concerto for two concerts with orchestras in May. My technique is improving alot now. I really look forward for it and I´m not worried (power of the now.) So it´s fun being a pianist at the moment. I´m very optimistic about the future too. Another thing about living in the present moment (here we go again...), is that it opens up your intuition. The ideas that arise from that state are just really good it seems. Because they come from your heart, guts, intuition instead of so called logical thinking. So they are instant and "idealistic." I´m just telling you, if you get an idea like that. Not something that you logically think your way through step by step and reach a conclusion. But like an instant idea: go for it. Do it! Don´t think to much about it, how, why etc. If it feels like a great idea, idealistic or not, go for it!! The first time I did that, I ended up touring in the USA! 

I have two such ideas now. On of them is to go to India for a period of intense meditation and spiritual awareness. Another one is to live for a longer period in the USA. There´s actually a very specific idea of doing a Graduate Certificate program at the USC. I´m also drawn to living in the desert, Palm Springs seems to be a good option there. The most recent idea that landed in my head was to attend a number of piano competitions from 2010! The thought of competing in music is just wrong in my world though. And I´ve been having a lot of resistance on it. So when I got the idea it was like: Damn! Now I have to actually do this. Haha. I just think that the next 2-3 years will be very interesting and important in my career. I have a good feeling about it. And I do think that the USA will be my entry point somehow. 

Ok, that´s it for this week! Enjoy yourselves and have a wonderful week to come!

Welcome to my Sunday Blog!!

Good Evening everbody! 

Or.. good morning or afternoon depending on where you are in the world and to what time you´re reading it. But it´s Sunday evening here in Norway where I´m sitting. The idea of having a blog came to me many years ago. So far I´ve only had project blogs from tours for instance. But having a regular general blog is something that I´ve wanted for a long time. Now is the time, and I´ve decided to update it every Sunday. That MUST be possible to do.. I´ve never been a fan of structure and system really, but even I must be able to update this blog every Sunday. 

I´ve decided to write the blog in English.. you know.. to make it as international as possible. If you don´t read English, you better learn it. Otherwise you won´t get anything out of this blog. I´m not so sure if you´ll get anything out of it anyway - but we´ll see how it goes. I don´t know what the blog will be about. It depends on the content of my brain in the time of writing it. For those of you who know me, or at least think you know me, you´re aware of the fact that my brain is filled with some pretty strange stuff sometimes. So it could be interesting! 

Hmm so.. do I really have that big of an ego..? To actually think that my writings will be interesting for people to read? I don´t know.. Maybe that´s not even the purpose of this blog. For me this will probably be like a vent, or a meditation. Hopefully it will be like a floating river, like automatic writing. It will be an act of writing whatever comes down from my system and pushing the "publish" button. So there won´t be any pattern to these blogs I guess. But I will write whatever comes to mind. If I´ve experienced something, I can write about that. If I have some new ideas or thoughts, I´ll write about that. So it will be like a diary for me. And maybe you can actually get something out if it sometimes! Or maybe it will entertain you? Maybe I will provoke your thoughts? Compared to the majority of things that come out of the junkbox - also called TV, maybe this is a fairly good alternative? Ok.. there ARE some good stuff on TV. But very little... 

I´ve learned a new english word by the way - Auspicious. It´s a very nice word infact. It means something like favorable, marked by success, prosperous etc. I could mention that I came across the word when I studied a book I just bought. Not just a book, but also a discourse and a meditation workshop. The book is called Living Enlightenment by Paramahamsa Nithyananda. He´s a spiritual master from India and has a world-wide foundation based on spiritual practice rooted in the ancient Vedic tradition in India. The word was used as an explanation of the name Shiva. Shiva was an enlightened master from the past. The word Shiva means "causeless auspiciousness." I´ll just leave that in the air for now. Now you have something to think about! I hope this blog gets many followers, so feel free to spread the link to your friends! Until next Sunday - buhbye!