Exam Concert

Alright, it´s about time to tell you about my exam concert. Last week was the big week! And what can I say? My head feels kinda empty now after having actually done it. Monday - Wednesday was really intense in one way, and quite relaxing in another way. It was a WONDERFUL experience to work with the conductor and orchestra for 3 days. I learned a lot from it and the result was quite good in the end I think. Being a soloist with an orchestra is a situation that is stressful in a way, but very nice too. I like it a lot. And when I get more experience of the situation I think I will really love it. The relaxing part was that I was actually able to NOT get stressed out in between. I didn´t practice too much or think too much about the performance between the rehersals. 

I was surprised to see quite a number of people attending the concert at 1pm on a Wednesday. There must have been 150-200 people there. The feeling I had afterwards was: "it was ok.. could have been worse, could have been better." So I guess I did the best I could then! The comments from my friends in the audience were very positive indeed. And the critic from "Adresseavisen," the biggest newspaper in Trondheim, was very very positive and gave a great review. I shared the concert with a flute player, and she got wonderful reviews as well. So it was a very special day for us. He used us as examples of the young and upcoming generation of musicians; well reflected about what we´re doing without being bound by tradition. He said that our performances could have been made on any stage and still be great. 

I must say I haven´t really had time to sit down and feel how it is like to be done with all the studies. I´ve been in Trondheim and somehow attached to the Music Conservatory since the autumn of 2000. So this is the end of an era for me. It is definitely time for me to look outside Trondheim. And it´s not that I haven´t started doing it with all my touring and everything! But I think I should break loose from the town for a period of time now. I can always return later. But for my own musical and personal growth, I think it´s important that I leave this area. I really feel like being based outside Norway for a few years. The US is of course a natural choice for me since I´ve done so many concerts there and started to get good contacts. So I will go for a 3-years O-visa from 2010 and see what happens. But the best thing would probably be to roam  around a little bit. But establishing a kind of base in the US for a period could be cool. 

Being a freelance performer is extremely interesting. The thing I´m thinking about now is "how much to control it and how much to just go with the flow?" In the bigger picture the answer is indeed "go with the flow." But for instance now, I´ve booked a 4 week tour in September, applied for a 6 months residency in Banff, Alberta and started booking another tour in April-May 2010. It is sort of a way of controlling things since I´ve "locked myself up" for a year! But then again, tours should be planned a year in advance and if I didn´t do it myself it wouldn´t be any tour at all. Anyway.. I´m sure it´s just a matter of getting used to it and getting tuned in. After all, the really good gigs are booked at least a year in advance. The big experienced concert musicians are fully booked 3-4 years ahead probably... I guess the only thing I should control is saying "yes" to gigs that I actually want and "no" to the ones that I don´t want. So it all comes down to doing what you enjoy doing the most. It also comes down to trust. I have to trust that things will work out, that I will get enough money, that I will have new ideas, that something will come to me from outside etc. I guess trust is the opposite of fear? The ultimate trust is probably that everything that happens is auspicious. No matter what will happen, it will be a great experience and a source of growth. Good and bad are just labels for our mind and society. It is what it is and it is auspicious. 

So to sum it up: it will be a very interesting period in my life! Ok, now my mind IS empty from all the candy, unhealthy food, beer and lack of meditation and physical exercise following the exam. :-) But I´ve already started to look forward and tomorrow I will be fully operational again.