Spring is here!

Hello again everybody. We´ve had a beautiful weekend in Trondheim with nice temperatures and shining sun. A touch of summer. We had around 60 degrees F. I guess you people from Palm Springs and Phoenix are laughing at us now. That´s a cold winter day for you guys.. Hehe. I´m thinking about spending a few days in Palm Springs in late August this year, before my tour. Just to get things in perspective temperature wise. Hopefully I´ll survive. 

There´s really nothing much to tell about my doings this week. I have been practicing Scriabin and Grieg, and feel that I have good control of it. Parts of the Scriabin concerto is almost ridiculously complex. Thank god he didn´t write the concerto a few years later, when he really started to go crazy... The reason why it´s almost ridiculous at times, is that the some of the difficulties can´t really be heard by the audience! So no-one will notice anyway. Haha. I´ve been listening to recordings by great artists, and most of them know the noble art of cheating. 

Besides this I have practiced my meditation, done my exercises to loosen up my muscles to allow the energy to flow, better my posture and making it easier to sit for hours at the piano. I´m also actually working out now.. can you believe it.. This actually creates some interesting dilemmas. Because.. (here we go with the deeper stuff again) When you´re developing yourself, it´s kind of like climbing steps. And when you enter a new step or level, naturally you have to leave another one. And then you also leave some habits, routines, bad things.. Because what you´re actually doing is increasing your awareness and rising in consciousness. And this is great. But the thing is that it´s not always that easy to do that. Because you´re actually changing reality for yourself. You start identifying with different things. And then you have to let go of other things! Because you have to let go of something old to allow something new to happen. It´s a wonderful truth. I´ve been very conscious about this truth at times, and it has helped me a lot on my path. This requires a bit of courage, because by letting go of something, we almost feel that we loose a part of our identity! This includes negative things too! Actually, I think that people that have been depressed for a long time, identify themselves with being depressed. They are almost afraid of not being depressed, because this has become part of their identity.

I think the core reason is that we resist change. We want things to be stable and solid. But nothing in this world, related to life on planet earth, in the phenomenal plane of Existence, in the matter, or in Reality as most people like to call it, is stable and solid. Everything is constantly changing. It´s the very nature. The structure of atoms is different from one millisecond to another. We try to grab on to the NOW. But it´s a battle that can´t be won. It will only lead to frustration, depression and war. This happens in the individuals whether we like it or not, and the collective part of it is what we call Society. Now.. this is someting I could write a lot about, but this blog is already getting quite long. I´m somewhere on my path where I have trouble relating to this society. The society I know is formed by need for power, market power, marketing, attention-need, and everything else related to EGO. Now, here comes the thing: Society is you! And me. Us. Society is the projection of the human mind. Isn´t it so? We´re creating society every day. Society is the sum of the human minds that live in it. So society is just a projection of our thoughts and egos... and maybe a tiny portion of love. But I seriously claim that most people don´t really know what love really is. And this is what people like to call Reality. Then they start attaching and relating and engaging themselves in it and make it serious. Society is NOT reality. It´s just a human construction which isn´t even conscious. And if you see through all this, see the mechanisms, the drama, all "serious" issues that really don´t mean a thing in the whole picture, what should you do? 

I have a lot of things to say about this. But I´ll leave this open for now and continue next Sunday! Have a nice week!

2. blog

Welcome to the second Sunday blog! I know that the link has been distributed to a number of people both in the USA and people related to my friend in Lanzarote, Ola´s blog. First of all I´d like to apologize in advance for all the grammatical errors you will find in these blogs. I don´t really proof read that much since I try to write spontaneously. It´s been an interesting week. I feel that I´m in a very exciting period of my life now. Things are happening more on an experiential level. I´ve been in a relationship for a short time. Pretty intense.. I learned a lot and are still learning a lot from that. I will probably write more about that later. But it´s kinda fresh, so I need to get it more on a distance so I can see it more clearly myself. 

I´ve also started the process of detaching more from my thoughts and living in the present moment. You see, when you think, you´re either in past or future! The present moment can only be experienced through sensing or just BEING. Thoughts are actually for the most part pretty irrational. And it´s mostly things from the past that´s recycled over and over again. It causes unnecessary and irrational worry and suffering. I think I´m more of a dreamer, so my mind tends to wander into the future. It´s kinda hard to let go, I must admit that. It´s like loosing your personality. Or you get the feeling that you´re unable to make good plans or have ambitions or remembering the past. It´s like a need of control! But judging from the past 2-3 weeks of high awareness, the power of the now is pretty immense! It seems like it generates a tremendous amount of energy and happiness. You´re happy for no apparent reason. Because we take all the small things in life for granted! When you live with high awareness in the present moment, you start feeling joyful and grateful for EVERYTHING. Food tastes better, taking a shower is like making love or something, just the act of walking is a nice thing. I´ve eaten less, slept less and had more energy. Sounds magical. 

Hmm, before this escalates.. I remember someone said after the first blog last Sunday: "don´t get to philosophical now!!" HAHA. Hmm, I wonder if I can NOT be just that. I mean, I could tell you that it´s raining heavily outside now and that it´s pretty darn cold in Trondheim at the moment. What can I say which isn´t something with deeper meaning. I mean, that´s what I´m into at the moment. I could tell you that I´m practicing a lot now a days. I´m preparing Grieg´s Piano Concerto and Scriabins Piano Concerto for two concerts with orchestras in May. My technique is improving alot now. I really look forward for it and I´m not worried (power of the now.) So it´s fun being a pianist at the moment. I´m very optimistic about the future too. Another thing about living in the present moment (here we go again...), is that it opens up your intuition. The ideas that arise from that state are just really good it seems. Because they come from your heart, guts, intuition instead of so called logical thinking. So they are instant and "idealistic." I´m just telling you, if you get an idea like that. Not something that you logically think your way through step by step and reach a conclusion. But like an instant idea: go for it. Do it! Don´t think to much about it, how, why etc. If it feels like a great idea, idealistic or not, go for it!! The first time I did that, I ended up touring in the USA! 

I have two such ideas now. On of them is to go to India for a period of intense meditation and spiritual awareness. Another one is to live for a longer period in the USA. There´s actually a very specific idea of doing a Graduate Certificate program at the USC. I´m also drawn to living in the desert, Palm Springs seems to be a good option there. The most recent idea that landed in my head was to attend a number of piano competitions from 2010! The thought of competing in music is just wrong in my world though. And I´ve been having a lot of resistance on it. So when I got the idea it was like: Damn! Now I have to actually do this. Haha. I just think that the next 2-3 years will be very interesting and important in my career. I have a good feeling about it. And I do think that the USA will be my entry point somehow. 

Ok, that´s it for this week! Enjoy yourselves and have a wonderful week to come!

Welcome to my Sunday Blog!!

Good Evening everbody! 

Or.. good morning or afternoon depending on where you are in the world and to what time you´re reading it. But it´s Sunday evening here in Norway where I´m sitting. The idea of having a blog came to me many years ago. So far I´ve only had project blogs from tours for instance. But having a regular general blog is something that I´ve wanted for a long time. Now is the time, and I´ve decided to update it every Sunday. That MUST be possible to do.. I´ve never been a fan of structure and system really, but even I must be able to update this blog every Sunday. 

I´ve decided to write the blog in English.. you know.. to make it as international as possible. If you don´t read English, you better learn it. Otherwise you won´t get anything out of this blog. I´m not so sure if you´ll get anything out of it anyway - but we´ll see how it goes. I don´t know what the blog will be about. It depends on the content of my brain in the time of writing it. For those of you who know me, or at least think you know me, you´re aware of the fact that my brain is filled with some pretty strange stuff sometimes. So it could be interesting! 

Hmm so.. do I really have that big of an ego..? To actually think that my writings will be interesting for people to read? I don´t know.. Maybe that´s not even the purpose of this blog. For me this will probably be like a vent, or a meditation. Hopefully it will be like a floating river, like automatic writing. It will be an act of writing whatever comes down from my system and pushing the "publish" button. So there won´t be any pattern to these blogs I guess. But I will write whatever comes to mind. If I´ve experienced something, I can write about that. If I have some new ideas or thoughts, I´ll write about that. So it will be like a diary for me. And maybe you can actually get something out if it sometimes! Or maybe it will entertain you? Maybe I will provoke your thoughts? Compared to the majority of things that come out of the junkbox - also called TV, maybe this is a fairly good alternative? Ok.. there ARE some good stuff on TV. But very little... 

I´ve learned a new english word by the way - Auspicious. It´s a very nice word infact. It means something like favorable, marked by success, prosperous etc. I could mention that I came across the word when I studied a book I just bought. Not just a book, but also a discourse and a meditation workshop. The book is called Living Enlightenment by Paramahamsa Nithyananda. He´s a spiritual master from India and has a world-wide foundation based on spiritual practice rooted in the ancient Vedic tradition in India. The word was used as an explanation of the name Shiva. Shiva was an enlightened master from the past. The word Shiva means "causeless auspiciousness." I´ll just leave that in the air for now. Now you have something to think about! I hope this blog gets many followers, so feel free to spread the link to your friends! Until next Sunday - buhbye!